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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I appreciate that she has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Innovation flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Foster some authentic experiences, where genuine feelings are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their bond?